Sunday, February 11, 2018

The Nosferatu Adventures s12 p29

The Nosferatu Adventures 
page 329, chapter 329

Out of Time

Seward leaned on the edge of the kitchen counter, his eyes barely focusing on the kettle in front of him. The dark haired human was tired. Bone deep, soul scratched tired. He was tired of constantly having dust and paper cuts on his hands from the mountains of research he had to do. He was tired of dealing with his cousin Landin's vision -nightmares. He was tired of having to look over his shoulder for the many new enemies they seemed to have attracted like magnets on the fridge. He was tired of smelling like wet dog day in and day out because a couple of werewolves were living with him. He was tired of never having the bathroom for more than two minutes to himself anymore, because someone was always knocking on the door telling him to research this or translate that. He was tired of the crazy that seemed to be dropped in his lap. Seward wanted nothing right that second but to walk away from it all. To just leave all the werewolves, the banshees, the gods and the creatures that were trying to do whatever it was they were trying to do behind.  Which is what he did. The 23 year old stood up to his full height, opened the back door and just walked out of the house. He didn't stop walking either till he reached the end of the street. Standing there, he took a few deep breaths, closed his eyes tilting his head to the sky and just stood. Said nothing, thought nothing, did nothing.

"Shack!" he turned running back past the three neighbour's houses to his own, running into the warmth of the back door, grabbing the nearest jacket off the porch. "I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm frozen with frostbite but I'm here." he started mumbling to himself. He grabbed each of his feet wiping the snow from them, removing the socks tossing them straight into the washer as he passed it on the back porch. He made a noise of discomfort as he entered the kitchen once again, the kettle now steaming high, threatening to boil dry.  Grabbing it off the stove, he swore again as he burned his arm on the steam. "Damn it!" Seward said his shoulders tensing with stress. Making sure the stove was indeed turned off, he returned to the porch getting his shoes, as he trudged back out into the yard.  "How many people living in this house? No, not even people..." he air quoted the word as he continued to rant his way to where the shovel was sitting leaning against the back of the house. "Werewolves. Big, scary, muscular-lary-ly strong shapeshifting lazy ass freeloading lycanthropes. And not one, not one of them can think to shovel the snow." he dug the shovel deep into the snow pile that was surrounding the picnic table. "Neither of them bother to clean the yard, or wash the car, or do the shacking dishes. I can't even get the human occupants of the house to do anything anymore. I should just up and leave them, serve them right if I did." he continued to rant to the emptiness. His breath flowing in an icy mist causing his nose to run. He sniffed. Stopping his task, the dark haired human ran his hand through the mop of curls as he squared his shoulders. The air had shifted around him, and was carrying on it an odd odour. The hairs on the back of his arms began to stand on end as if covered with static electricity. He felt the ground then, as if an earthquake was about to happen. But Seward knew that was impossible, the province he lived in was known for being too solid of rock to ever have an earthquake. The freshly shoveled snow began to whip around him, biting into his face, leaving sandpaper like cuts on his cheeks. He barely got his arm up to cover his eyes from the sudden blinding spotlight that burst open from the edge of the large tree.

The figure scrambled up from the ground where she'd fallen, her hands clawed talons, her eyes pure white of the banshee as if just an eye socket, her double row of fangs top and bottom exposed. She pounced at him, grabbing him by the shoulders dragging him to her. She was about to rip into his throat, about to tear the flesh from him when she stopped. She made a horrible sound then as she sniffed him, his hair, his shirt, his ear. All before her tongue landed on his jaw as she licked him across his face.

"Seward!" our heroine hissed as she hugged the confused male, practically smothering him to her boobs. He felt her begin to sob suddenly, the hot wet splotches of tears hitting the back of his neck.

"Nooosstaroo. Ooer sack." he spoke still being smothered. Seward had to literally shove himself away from her in order to get her to break the hug. Taking a half step backwards, he watched the female rotate her shoulders, cracking her neck as if about to get into a fight, shaking out her hands as she transformed back to her human form.

"I'm freezing. There's snow on the ground."  she said hugging herself, the thin t-shirt and shorts exposing her pale flesh to the elements.

"It's February."

"How long have I been gone?" she asked nodding towards the back door.

"Eight months."

"Only." she let out a sigh of relief. Seward looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Time moves differently in each reality." she said too causally. They had barely taken a step towards the back door of the house, when it sprang open, nearly ripped off it's hinges. Edric jumped down to land directly in front of them, grabbing her tight.

"Oh my god! I missed you so much." the sandy-blonde male hybrid said as he buried his nose in her shoulders, sniffing her wildly. His own blue eyes now the amber-grey of the wolf as he dragged his nose across every inch of his mate. He snarled in anger. "You don't smell like you. I don't like it."

"You grew that damned beard back. I don't like it." she replied too coldly.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story. Well I thought it was funny.)

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Coffee Talk Feb 6th 2018

Spudguns! Hope you're having a fabulous day wherever it is you are right now. I, myself am sitting here freezing my boobs off, drinking more hot liquids than should be humanly possible, while I write this.

That could only mean one thing; it's February, and where I live that means deep freezing cold. The kind of cold that keeps you inside cause if you go out for 30 seconds you will become frostbitten.

It's also zombie month as far as the theme schedule goes. Only, I've yet to get around to doing anything even remotely close to what you would consider homework. So far, I've managed to dig through my endless boxes of dvds and find my stack of zombie movies. Which, ironically is much larger than I ever thought. (all comedies I might add) So, why haven't I gotten around yet then to reviewing any zombie movies for this month's schedule?

Because, I just don't get it. No, seriously, I really don't get the appeal of zombies. Beyond the metaphor for consumerism, biological and environmental issues, what are they about? What's the glue that keeps people interested in them?   So this, is what I'm tasking myself with this month. Finding the real reason people dig the unearthly leftovers that fill pop-culture. 

Today marks 267 Days till Hallowe'en.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

The Nosferatu Adventures s12 p28

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 328, chapter 328

Beaver Teeth and Moose Tails

Seward showed his id to the guy at the door, then waited as he was given approval to enter. The flyer hadn't lied, the place was as dark as a tomb. Seward couldn't see his feet and was moving by pure instinct. The club was like something out of a bad disco movie. Only he couldn't decide which one. Nodding to himself, he decided all of them fit the bill. There were groups of people dressed like they should have been going to a costume party, others like they had just come from a bad drag show at the karaoke bar, others like they'd seen one too many vampire movies. The dark haired male smiled to himself on that last one; whispering under his breath. "There's no such thing as too many vampire movies."  Someone grabbed his arm shining a flashlight in his face. He saw them mouth the words closed area invitation only. Nodding, Seward dug out the pink piece of paper from his pocket and handed it over to him. Flashlight sighed tagging him with a pink flamingo sticker at the collar of his t-shirt allowing him into yet another darkened doorway.

If being out there in the crowded area was the dark before the dawn, then this was the heart of the disco ball. And where the club got the rest of it's name. He squinted, covering his eyes for a second with his hand, adjusting to the sudden glare of light. The room was one giant mirror, with Bryon sitting dead center in what looked like a giant red velvet and gold throne. A strange little king, in an even stranger kingdom.

Seward felt the need to practically tippy-toe across the tiled floor, afraid his shoes would either leave scuff marks on the mirrored tiles, or worse, crack under his weight. There was a small stage area near the very back of the room, almost like an after thought. It was already dressed with a drum set and a few speakers. But otherwise, it just didn't seem to carry any real importance. At lest, not to the extent that Bryon had given it. Nor did there seem to be anyone who might indeed be in a band. But, there did seem to be a hell of a lot of groupies gathered around Bryon, in the little vip lounge. All of them dressed like they had seen the same cheesy Victorian vampire movie.  Seward made a noise under his breath to himself, as he licked his lips trying not to laugh.

"Whoa. Hey now. Hi."  the dark haired male said as he suddenly found himself the center of attention, as three girls sprang to his side. Each of them were dressed in flowing white gowns, their long hair braided with ribbons, vines, flowers and what oddly enough looked like moths. In fact, the one facing him, seemed almost like a moth herself, with her heavily painted eye make-up in shades of grey and soot.  Seward felt that uneasy deja vu clamor over him in a wave. He had to close his eyes and fight back the desire to vomit. The groupies said nothing as they led him to the vip area, shoving him onto the large velvet red sofa. They were only about five feet away from Bryon's throne, but it might as well have been miles. Another of the groupies arrived on his left with a large goblet of the deepest red wine he'd ever seen. "Okay. What movie is this? What movie is this? What" his words had been hushed under his breath, but the feel of someone kissing him stole his thoughts.  Seward shook his head blinking rapidly, as he pushed one groupie off his lap, spilling the goblet of wine as he did, only to be pulled back down on the sofa by another set of hands. The sound of his shirt ripping seemed to echo in his ears. Taking a deep breath, he managed to get to a standing position, stumbling over MothGirl's legs; his palms landing flat on the smooth cold wall of mirrors as he did.  Seward's eyes widened as he came face to face with his own reflection. His eyes taking in the images of the room. Turning to look over his shoulder, he saw Bryon sitting on the red and gold throne; only his mirror image was of someone else. Shaking his head once again believing it to be the wine and lights playing tricks on him, Seward looked once more over his shoulder then back at the mirror in front of him.  There was no mistaking it. The man in the room was not the man in the mirror.

Mirrored Man had short jet black hair, a clean shaven face and a thinner build. But it was his eyes that caused Seward's heart to beat faster, for his mouth to go dry. Mirrored Man had the amber-grey eyes of the werewolf.


"What movie is this?" Seward mumbled more than once in his sleep before Edric finally decided to wake his friend up. Which he did by tossing a large orange directly at Seward's skull. Giving a half snort, the human rubbed at his eyes, as he sat up on the sofa.

"Dude, you okay?" Edric asked as he leaned on the back of the sofa.  Getting up, Seward nodded as he slowly made his way upstairs to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he refused to look up at his reflection until he'd managed to get his heart to stop beating like a drum.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story. I'd say something cute as usual, but...)

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Inspired by Jan 2018

Spudguns! It's time for another recipe inspired by a movie. And it's an oldie but a goodie because it's another edition of 80's Day!  If you've tripped along with me through any of these before, then you might have guessed that every so often I get my friend Heather from All Roads Lead to the Kitchen, to join me on this.  We never tell the other what movie we picked. Totally a surprise. Which for me is the best part.

movie: Young Guns
starring: Kiefer Sutherland, Emilio Estevez
genre: Western
year: 1988
format: DVD

plot: After the death of their teacher, a group of young deputies; including Billy the Kid, begin to take the law into their own hands as they get revenge against the man who killed him.

This is the part where I start to feel really old cause, I first saw this 30 years ago in the cinema. Yeah, back when Kiefer Sutherland was still the hot new thing having just done Stand By Me and the Lost Boys, and westerns were still the style of movie that made the big bucks.  Well, let's be honest, westerns are still a big draw, they just don't look like the dusty westerns up there on the big screens that we automatically think of when we hear the word. (Guardians of the Galaxy, Mad Max Fury Road, Priest, Fast and the Furious series)

I think one of the things that makes this movie seem good;(it's by far not a "good movie", but it's a "great for it's time" genre film)  is that there really isn't any good guys. Everyone is there for revenge on everyone else, on both sides of the situation. And the lead character of Billy the Kid, is just sort of a loose canon. While everyone else is trying to reel him in, he's sneaking around behind their backs lying about what he's done. You're asked to blindly follow this guy without ever knowing what his true motives are. So you as a viewer are in the same situation as the rest of the gang. Never sure from one second to another if Billy can be trusted or that he's even who he really says he is?

Notes: pigs, cows, chickens, whiskey, ginger ale, whip cream, pheasant, bread, corn, peas, carrots, potatoes, chilies, oats, water, beer, wine, turkey, gravy, beans, coffee,

I have to admit, I couldn't get the idea of baked beans out of my mind the whole time watching it. From about the second scene, before we even see any mention of food; simply because of the dvd cover.

I used 2 and a half cups of white beans, rinsed them, drained and then soaked them in fresh water for about 6 hours. (package said overnight)     Then boiled them for 2 and a half hours. 

The sauce was super simple.

1 can tomato paste
1 1/2 Tablespoon brown sugar
3 Tablespoon molasses
4 shakes hot sauce

I chopped a half an onion, mixed everything together and baked for 2 hours at 300 degrees.

I decided then to just make a quick pan fried potato, done in butter, salt and pepper. Along with some corn.

Little bit on the obvious side, but sometimes, simple is just the best direction to go.

That's about all I've got for you today, don't forget to head on over to All Roads Lead to the Kitchen, and see what Heather created and which movie she was inspired by.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Themed Day p5

Spudguns!, yes a few days late but as promised...

Movie:  Frankenstein Reborn
starring: Rhett Giles, Joel Hebner
genre: Horror, Thriller, Crime
format: DVD

plot:While being evaluated to see if he's sane enough to stand trial for murder, Dr. Victor Franks, tells how he managed to regenerate a dead body.

This is done in a series of flashbacks-within flashbacks. And not always successfully either. It's a low-budget/no budget production that could have taken the first 45 minutes and condensed it down to about fifteen. The idea is there, as it takes the core of the original Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and tries to bring it forward to modern times. That's also where it gets muddled.

The doctor has been arrested for multiple murders, and is telling a therapist his story. (much like how Victor tells his story to the Captain in the original novel) We then learn that Franks and his team, were trying to create a system to help accident victims, who had been paralyzed. Their most successful patient is Bryce, a young man who has volunteered to undergo their experimental procedure. He ends up having a series of microbes injected into him. They manage to work to restore the use of his legs, but unknown to him, something else has come along with it. The doctor, who has been experimenting on himself, has managed to copy parts of his own personality, and that now effects Bryce, as the "donor" samples  retained emotions/memories. Bryce begins having these visions/nightmares about killing members of the medical staff. Unable to handle them, he gets into a fight with Franks, who then kills him. Franks learns he's about to lose his company's funding, and in a panic, begins upping his experiments. Bryce then becomes the canvas for which he experiments on.

This is one of those movies that halfway makes sense, and halfway just doesn't connect at all.  Like for example, the character of Bryce, once he becomes the creature. I am not sure why, but the doctor decides he needs to take apart a perfectly functioning body and rebuild it from scratch, mutilating the face and features in the process.  He goes from being an average man, to the Castle Freak.  And then later on, when he creates his female creature, there's only one small scare on her. I didn't get the point of that?

The two are emotionally connected by the experiment, which is why the creature is able to anticipate Franks whereabouts and just arrive there. For half the story, you get the idea the creature is doing his bidding, then it turns on him.  You have to assume that in his madness, the doctor loses the bond.

I know this is a low budget/no budget film from Asylum, but my biggest complaint is the sound. I wish they had put some extra time and effort into having a smoother soundtrack, as the quality cuts in and out every few minutes.

This is shown only from the character of Victor's point of view. So it's only the drive to make the creature, the madness, and the addiction that are explored. Oddly enough, the addiction is shown in a few different ways. From his pursuit of his experiments, to the drugs and money he prizes.  That is no depth to this, it's  a gory version of a serial killer story, with no hints at all to the moral dilemmas that made the original what it is.

And I'm going to end this here.

283 Days till Hallowe'en

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Coffee Talk January 18th 2018

Spudguns!  How's everything where you are? I need to confess something, I screwed up.

Last week, I missed the Themed Day post (we're doing Frankenstein this month) I had too much going on and something had to be dropped, and that's what was sacrificed last week. 

Spent almost a half  hour last night digging through boxes of dvds and found the one I had in mind to talk about, got up this morning grabbed it off the table before I even made coffee, carried it around the apartment for about twenty minutes while I was making the coffee, went to sit down to watch, and cried. Actually, between starting to make coffee and sitting down to watch the movie for review, I had oddly enough; checked the Instagram of another movie reviewer and seen they had posted a review about the same version of Frankenstein I had intended to do. I thought that was only half way weird because this is the big 200 year anniversary of the novel. But their post sort of got into my head.

I started to think about why the story of Frankenstein is so relevant still, and why it resonates so much with society.  How so many of us identify with the creature and his search for meaning and companionship. His feelings of isolation and despair. It didn't help that half the story takes place in the snow covered mountains, and when I looked out my window I saw snow banks that are nearly knee deep in some spots.

I wasn't expecting to be affected by anything, let alone one of my all time favourite stories.

But, have you noticed, that people rarely say they identify with the doctor and his search for the ultimate experience? He has this passionate goal that he pursues to the point of extreme mental exhaustion, only to end up with self-loathing.

With that all said, I will have this week's done for you by the end of the weekend. I just have to switch it out for a different movie. There are hundreds of Frankenstein based movies out there; which is great. Sadly for me, I have only six in my collection.

Today marks 286 Days till Hallowe'en.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

The Nosferatu Adventures s12 p27

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 327, chapter 327

Beaver Teeth and Moose Tails

"I have no idea what I am doing?" Seward said as he walked through the halls of the school, his head down talking to his phone. He was recording a video for his social page. "But you all have to agree, that if you're in a relationship for more than a month, and you're not having sex with the person and there's no medical reason, then you need to ask why are you even in that relationship? Cause more times than anyone wants to admit, if they're not getting it from you, they're getting it from someone else. And that my friends, is the thought I'm going to leave you with this week. Text me, Message me, Show me how much you dream about me, and take care." he smiled brightly as he turned off the camera function. Looking up, he spotted a few of the guys from his science class standing at their lockers, laughing about something. Crossing over to them, Seward nodded asking what was up?

"Nothing man. Just talking." the one with the nose ring replied.

"Na man, give it up." the chunkier one said reaching into the locker to grab a large piece of fabric. "His dad picked this up for him at work. Totally gnarly."  he continued to laugh as he unwrapped the object.

"Doesn't your dad work at the zoo?"

"Yeah man."  Nose Ring answered. "They brought in a few animals that were injured, caught in bear traps or something. Nothing to do but..."   Seward found himself staring down at a severed paw of what he thought was a panther.  "So we thought it might be good luck, you know like a rabbit's foot." Nose Ring continued grinning like a moron as he wrapped the dead thing back up.

"We were going to do a little experiment on it. Like what Professor Quoyle was doing with the frogs in class."  Chunk said grinning too wide.

"That's gross you know that right. And totally awesome! I'm in."

"You seriously think you can hack this? I mean, we're not just talking about some video game here, this is like totally next level man." Chunk continued, not looking at anything but the floor, as if his shoes suddenly held the answer to life itself.

"It's a severed paw! I've got $30 that says you puke your guts out before we even get the jumper cables attached, $50 if you actually pass out." Seward said almost too casually. What no one had bothered to bring up, was how did his dad get this really? There was no way a panther could be in the area to begin with, and absolutely no reason for it to have been around bear traps to start with. No, there was something shacked about this and Seward knew he needed to understand what that was. For some nagging reason, he felt his entire future depended on it.  And of course, he was very eager to remove both guys from their money.  Turning, someone smashed into Chunk, which caused Chunk to slam into Seward, causing him to drop his cell phone.

"Watch it!" Nose Ring said to the guy.  All three turned to see an older male with short spiked hair. He was chewing on what to Seward looked like a large leaf. Tilting his head to the side, Seward felt a deja vu; as he sized the guy up. The male was in his 30's, dressed in black pants, pointed black boots, a pink dress shirt and a black jacket that fell mid-thigh. He looked like he'd just walked out of a gothic novel. Or poetry night at the goth club. Seward couldn't decide which as he continued to stand there confused and transfixed. Rotating his shoulders, Seward stood to his full height, puffing out his chest a little as he realized he towered over the dude by at lest a foot.  Somehow, that made him feel better.

"Relax young grasshopper. Just looking for the library." he raised both hands palms up at the same time he made a gesture with both eyebrows. It was if he was sharing a secret with Seward, only Seward had no idea what that could be?  The goth reached into the inside pocket of his jacket pulling out a stack of small pink pages. "My band is playing tonight at the club. You should check us out. It will be electric, I promise."  Nose Ring made a scoffing noise, tossing the paper into his locker, as they watched the guy continue walking down the halls till he found the library.

"Bryon's Mirrored Tomb presents Pink Zombie Flamingos. One night only." Seward swallowed the sudden dryness in his mouth as he read the flyer. He barely registered the fact Chunk was smacking his arm, pointing suddenly to the library.

"Check it out." Chunk whispered. "That Bryon dude is like all over Miss Frankenstein."  they turned to see the librarian Nosferatu leaving with him.

"I don't trust him." the words were out of Seward's lips before he realized it.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story.  Yes, I watched Impact this week.)