movie: Stan Helsing
starring: Steve Howey, Leslie Nielsen
format: TV Edit
plot: On a random Hallowe'en night, Stan and his friends find themselves locked in a gated community after midnight with a bunch of horror film franchise style serial killers after them. And everyone in the small community believes Stan is the hero they've been waiting decades for.
Oh my god, this was a ball of crap. I can't believe I sat through this, nor can I believe it ever got released. It's a parody of bad parody films. Yeah, not a lot going on under the hood in this one, other than loose ends that you really don't care stay untied.
The first few minutes of this takes place in a Blockbuster video rental and the set up made me think it was going to be worth it. But sadly, the best part of the movie is the nostalgia you get from that first five minutes of footage. It quickly and not so quietly dissolves into pure mind numbing garbage, as the characters begin their quest to deliver a stack of movies to the manager's grandmother. Along the way, they meet up with every badly drawn version of Freddy, Chucky, Pinhead etc, you can think of all while being told that Stan is a long lost member of the Van Helsing's.
This movie goes nowhere and does it without any style. The biggest running gag in this is that one of the female characters has a unexplained costume change every few minutes. There really isn't anything nice to say about this, nor does it have any real substance to it. Not only does it play on every typical horror icon, it mixes too many horror themes into it without success. Such as the ghost town that really is a town of ghosts, nightmares that loop around themselves making you dizzy trying to sort out what's the actual nightmare, the long lost identity and the crazy hitchhiker killer.
Okay, I'm going to bury this one here in yet another unmarked grave, and I'll be back tomorrow with another treat for your Hallowe'en displeasure.
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