Sunday, September 28, 2014

year 3 day 119

movie: The Good Witch
starring: Catherine Bell, Chris Potter
genre: Fantasy,
year: 2008
format: Popcornflix

plot: A small town is changed when a mysterious woman moves in, making everyone believe she is a witch.

This is the first in the movie series.

It's a Hallmark made for tv Sunday night movie, so you know it's going to be sweet and with a happy message.
I like the idea of these films, but there is just something too sugary for me here. This is done with more of a psych 101 approach then anything really "mystical", making it seem through the whole film that she's not really a witch on the surface.

I get the message, don't judge others, treat everyone kindly, stand up for yourself...but it's so formulaic you don't need to be watching the screen to know what's happening.

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S6 p3

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 157, chapter 157

Last night...

Our heroine stumbled as she was pushed into the cell. She landed hard on the mattress, her lack of coordination evident. She turned to growl at the guard, only nothing came out. Blinking in frustration, she threw herself backwards on the mattress, letting out a deep sigh.

"It's not that dramatic." a male voice said to her. Turning she saw a hand sticking out from another set of bars to the left of her, about ten feet away.

"Yes it is. And and...I'm not suppose to be here anyways." she huffed. Kicking the air, our heroine let out a semi-scream for added drama. She heard the male let out a sigh as he shuffled a step in his own cell.

"That's the story of our lives isn't it?" he sniffed. "But I'll tell you one thing, you must have pissed off the wrong person if you're in here with us. I mean, females never make it to this hell." he waved his hand between the bars for effect. "They get shipped right off to the private yacht. Get the golden wings and become Odin's personal toys." he sniffed again, his nose pressed between the bars. "What are you anyways? I can't get a clean scent."

"Undefined as of late." Nosferatu remarked as she began to move around the tiny cell. At lest it was clean.

"What is that suppose to mean?" there was a hint of disgust in the male's voice.

"It means I no longer know what's going on with me. Okay!" she felt an anger starting up in her, an anger that she knew wasn't totally her's. There were still trances of Rolf's soul blended with her own. She shook her head. "Wait em second. You said a clean scent. Your werewolf?" she moved towards the bars of the cell, trying to get a look at him.  "You don't smell wolfy."

"Well I am. Name's Jarl. I'm the alpha of my pack."

"Really? If I had a penny for every pumped up male who thinks he's the alpha...I'd be able to afford to bribe my way out of here." she snickered, her eyes flashing their white of the banshee. There was a sudden tickle at her nose, her throat as a thin layer of copper filled the air. Blood. Someone nearby was bleeding heavily, she just hoped it wasn't Rolf.

The male managed to squeeze himself closer to the edge of his cell, angling towards her. "You saying you are a werewolf too?"

"Nope. Just saying I have had my share of alphas..." she licked her lips, a sudden playfulness infecting her tone.  Jarl grunted in amusement.


The Seer leaned over the large book, a determined look on his face, his eyes squinted under knotted eyebrows.

"Still no luck?" Ash asked as he paced behind him in the cabin.

"I've tried everything I can think of, gone through the whole book. Nothing is working." he said letting his shoulders slump, slapping his hand on his thigh. "He's stuck alright! I've run out of ideas." The Seer tilted his head towards the auburn wolf sitting on the kitchen chair beside them. A low whimpered growl came from Dagan's chest as he raised his paw smashing the other male in the back. The dark haired male spun around shaking his head at the wolf. "Dude, you did this to yourself. You pissed off Loki and his magic is just too powerful to reverse."

Ash tossed his head back letting out a howl of his own as he ran his hands through his mohawk in frustration. "I can't believe this!" he slammed his palm down on the table, causing the book to jump. "Seriously, how long do you think we can survive as a pack without a proper alpha? Huh? It's unheard of!" he stomped past them both into the living room, falling down on the sofa, his face in his hands.

"Um...okay. No need for the acting class." the Seer cleared his throat, a nervous giggle escaping his lips. "Just us. No one watching this little..." he moved a step closer to Ash, his hands making circles as he did. "...stage show."

"See now that's the problem. There is someone watching us. There is always someone watching us. We wouldn't be in this mess if we didn't have their attention!" Ash said standing back up pointing first at the floor then towards the ceiling. "For whatever reason, this pack has been on the radar of every magical bad guy, greedy self-centered warlord, and...and...and nymph this side of Hades for the past couple of years." he turned around in a full circle, climbing over the back of the sofa moving around the cabin like a caged animal. "I really want to say it started with the female coming to us, when I found her on the beach like a washed up whale, but it's been going on a hell of a lot longer then that. It's like we've had invisible targets on our backs for years. Years!" he screamed the last word, moving his hands around like a lunatic. "It just seems to get worse and worse all the time. It's like we're cursed or something."

"I'm going to make you some tea...laced with fairy dust." the Seer mumbled as he turned back towards the kitchen just as Dagan jumped down from the chair, running out the front door of the cabin and disappeared into the woods. "Um okay." the Seer turned to see what had gotten the other werewolf's attention not having heard or smelled anything himself. He spotted the female timber wolf Matilda then slowly walk into the room, her head bowed and a sad tone to her movements. The Seer snickered as he bent down to pet the creature's ears. "Sorry girl, love to tell you he's just playing hard to get, but he's really not interested."

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story)

Saturday, September 20, 2014

year 3 day 118

movie: The Grand Seduction
starring: Taylor Kitsch, Gordon Pinsent
genre: Comedy, Drama,
year: 2013
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot: The entire population of a small town in Newfoundland, are in desperate need of a local doctor in order to win the bid on a factory. In order to do so, they spend a month coning a big city doctor into thinking the town is tailor made for him.

This is an English remake of the 2003 French film

Don McKellar directed this, one of the most notable names in Canadian film/television (Roadkill, Highway 61, Twitch City) along with Mary Walsh and Cathy Jones from Cod-Co and This Hour has 22 Minutes, and Peter Keleghan from the Red Green Show. You know you're in for a good showing with names like this.

Okay, so I admit, there's nothing new here, and not just because it's a remake, but because it's the kind of story you've seen more then once on Canadian tv, but it's done with such brilliant humour and a lightness that it absorbs you into it before you know it.
You believe the people in this small town are that crafty to pull out all the stops in order to get the young doctor to stay, like when the Gordon Pinsent character dresses up in a scuba suit and plants the frozen fish, or the silliness of the found money that just happens to be laying in wait every night when the doctor leaves the bar.

Taylor Kitsch, as perfect as he is in everything; there are moments when I was thinking he played the character almost too innocently. The character starts off in his first scene as this big shot doctor caught with cocaine, which sets up the idea that he's going to be this hard core ass, but by his second scene, he's shown to be a puppy. That sort of threw me as most movies progress into the character's softening. In this case he just was. And of course that just added to the idea that he's the knight in shinning armor.

Would have loved to have had Pinsent have more monologs, but then again, I love anything when it's done with a Newfie accent.

Monday, September 15, 2014

year 3 day 117

movie: Percy Jackson and the Sea Monsters
starring: Logan Lerman, Douglas Smith
genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy
format: Netflix Canada

plot: In order to save their home, Percy and his friends are sent on a quest to find the golden fleece. But someone else has already stolen it and plans to awaken Kronos.

Based on the book

Second movie in the series.  I'm sort of neutral on this one.  I loved that Anthony Stewart Head (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Stanley Tucci are in this, even if they only have seven minutes of air time.
It's almost like the film gets lost in itself, thinking of the setting first and the story second. There are a few characters that seemed out of place compared to the first movie, such as the satyr, and the god Hermes. It's almost as if their storylines were chopped in half.
And the line about the zombies who gave their lives for Ares...funny but again, felt like there should have been more to it. 

Big lessons...believe in yourself, have faith that you're on the path meant for you, and always remember team work might get you half way or it might get you there and back.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Nosferatu Adventures S6 p2

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 156, chapter 156

The Fort...

Biffy jumped from his post near the back of the main building when he heard the shouting. Running towards the noise, he found a wreckage before him.  At lest seven of the guards were slain in bloody pools near the prisoner's area, as well as two of the amazon wives. He swore as he grabbed for the nearest sword, heading in the direction of the Queen.


Our heroine held up her hand, telling the Necromancer to be quiet, her ears ringing suddenly. She heard a popping that seemed to come from within her skull, causing her to double over, her hands clutching at her ears. Seconds later, they heard screams coming from the open windows. The Necromancer moved quickly towards the guards, telling them to investigate, but by that point it was too late.  Three of the amazon wives were blocking the staircase, armed with swords they had taken from the dead guards.  "We've come for the wolf bitch."


Reuben opened his eyes to find himself face down in his bed back in the old witch's cabin. Bouncing to a kneeling position, he sniffed the air, his hands brushing frantically through his long dark hair. "Dagan!" he was out of the room in a blur of werewolf speed, searching the grounds for any signs of the others. "Rolf!"  The dark haired male spun around as he heard a low growl just before the cracking of a branch.
The auburn wolf crept out from the edge of the woods, licking his muzzle, his amber-grey eyes showing fear. Moving towards his buddy, Dagan whimpered as he shook himself. The shapeshifter was stuck in wolf form unable to transform.

"Seems my timing was off." a voice said from behind them as the Seer stopped running, bending to catch his breath.

Reuben let out a deep sigh, puffing out his cheeks as he did, raising his right hand towards the Seer. "Dude, any idea what the hell is going on?"

"The visions were all over the place. Like channel surfing. I saw you here, Dagan being tossed around by Loki like a puppet..." the auburn wolf growled again lowering his muzzle as if to agree. "...Harker being stabbed, something to do with Rolf and a woman dressed as a bear, lots of amazons only they weren't dressed like normal amazons they had wings and horns, and there was blood, so much blood..." he made a small sound as he turned on his heels heading towards the chicken coop. The Seer returned a few seconds later with a dead chicken.

"Doesn't sound like the time for lunch." Reuben commented nodding towards the dead bird.

"I'm going to do a spell dumbass." the Seer mumbled, rolling up his sleeves.

"I should have eaten you when I had the chance over a year ago." Reuben snorted, his eyes flashing the amber-grey of the wolf. "Do not disrespect me!" he shoved the Seer hard, sending him flying backwards about ten feet. "You have no idea how much I regret turning you sometimes."
The Seer stood up gently, brushing the non-existent dirt from his butt, straightened out his arms before bending to pick up the dead bird and stalked off into the cabin. "We'll sort this out." Reuben sniffed as he crouched down to face Dagan. "We'll find the others and get you back to your old self, trust me."  The auburn wolf threw his head back and howled for what seemed eternity.

The Fort...

Our heroine took a half step towards the women, her eyes having flashed first to the pure white of the banshee then to the amber-grey of the wolf before turning back to their normal hazel. A sound seemed to echo from her throat, her chest that was more then a growl as a strong hand crashed across her shoulders, holding her back. She turned to see the Necromancer shaking his head at her.

"You can't fight them. There's no use." he nodded again towards the women, gesturing to the small bits of bone that were at first glance broken and split through the collar of the leader. "They're already dead."

"This one of your tricks? More zombies. I thought we had a deal!" our heroine hissed.

"We do. These aren't zombies, nothing to do with me. They're Valkyries. Soul collectors."

That's when our heroine realized she didn't hear Rolf any longer. She had not seen his point of view or heard him in her mind since the popping had occurred. So the boys had failed, and they were there to take Rolf's soul, every tiny scrap of it.

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your (straight up story. Talk about cowboys from hell)

Saturday, September 13, 2014

year 3 day 116

movie: Willow
starring: Val Kilmer, Warwick Davis
genre; Action, Adventure
year: 1988
format: DVD

plot: A dwarf is given the task of keeping a baby safe as he tries to return her to where she came from. Along the way, he finds himself having to trust a thief, as they try to stay one step ahead of the queen's army, who want the baby for themselves.

It's been years since I watched this. I love sword and sorcery films, there's just something about them that really unlocks the imagination.

Okay, so on the usual, we've got a goofy buddy movie that happens to have a few "car chases" (carts and horses) a dashing hero that has a heart of gold, and smelts...okay no smelts; trolls, brownies and a few ogre-ish brutes that might as well have been trolls, and an evil queen.  (You know, just because you happen to be over a certain age and know you're way around a grimoire doesn't mean you're evil...)

The one real flaw in this is, it's never really explained what the fear of the baby is? They just say "the prophecy has come true."  But what exactly is the kid suppose to do?

Just once I'd like to see a movie where the hero gets pounded by smelts, for no reason other then it would be funny. Smelts, minnows, anchovies, in a major battle where everyone is running around the castle with swords and battle-axes, roaring and screaming about death to the enemy, and just a big bucket of smelts getting tossed at them...with a line like "I said smite our enemies not smelt our enemies..."

Thursday, September 11, 2014

year 3 Day 115

movie: Tucker and Dale vs Evil
starring:Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine
genre: Comedy, Horror
year: 2010
format: Netflix Canada

plot: Two guys spend what they think will be a weekend fixing up their new cabin, when a group of college students arrive and accidentally start to murder everyone on the anniversary of a mass killing.

Rarely do I come across a movie so good at taking the cliches and turning them into something worth watching. The whole time I was watching this, I was thinking  "when Joss Whedon created Buffy, he was thinking about the blonde who never gets away in all the old horrors, and the dude who wrote this was thinking the same thing about the mountain hermits/psycho hillbillies"

Basically, what you have here is the perfect setting for a typical horror movie, dumb teenagers, lots of drinking, swimming at night etc, but instead of the mountain hermits being total psychos, they're the victims.

Genius. There are little nods to every horror film you've ever come across from the chainsaw to the newspaper clipping wall to bad 80's attitudes. Throw in Tyler Labine who is one of the most recognizable Canadian actors of the last twenty years, and Jesse Moss who played the uber creepy abusive teenaged werewolf boy in Ginger Snaps and you've got enough firm ground for a demonic library. Bonus with Alan Tudyk from Firefly and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, who brings the comedy with such ease.

Can't wait for the sequel.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Coffee Talk Sept 7th

Anyone else get excited when they walk into a store and see a shelf or bin of new DVDs they've never heard of before? No, just me then... Well, found a few the other day when I was shopping that I've never heard of before, horror films to boot. I'm just debating if I should dive into them now or leave them till closer to Hallowe'en for the yearly Hallowe'en week movies? Decisions, decisions.

I've been struggling with trying to find another "what that movie inspired me to do" project for the blog. Because, to be honest, nothing has actually inspired me in a really long time. But I do feel that this blog is needing some more of those types of posts. And I know you're feeling it too.

It's the time of year when tv shows return for a new season. The only thing I'm looking forward to this year is season 10 of Supernatural.

Till later

Saturday, September 6, 2014

year 3 day 114

movie: 30 Minutes or Less
starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride
genre: Comedy, Action
year: 2011
format: Netflix Canada

plot: A man who wants to hire a hitman to kill his father in order to inherit millions, kidnaps a delivery guy and forces him to rob a bank for him in under 8 hours.

I want to say I hated it, but I actually liked most of this movie. I shuffled past it more then once thinking it wouldn't be any good at all because I'm not a fan of Danny McBride; but this was surprisingly interesting. I wouldn`t say it was funny, but it had a few moments of well written dialog.

I have to admit, I pretty much watched this for the sole reason of it being a Jesse Eisenberg movie. When I spotted the Insane Clown Pose t-shirt on one of the bad guys, I was thinking it was going to be a hint at something, but sadly it wasn`t.

What I never understood was, if the McBride character had enough balls to hire a hitman and kidnap someone, why didn`t he have enough guts to just do the hit himself?

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

year 3 Day 113

movie: Mom's Night Out
starring: Sarah Drew, Sean Astin.
genre: Comedy
year: 2014
format: Shaw Video On Demand

plot:A group of over stressed moms plan a Saturday night out, leaving their husbands to look after the kids. But before they can even sit down to dinner, everything falls into chaos.

Again, all I could think was Adventures in Babysitting while watching this. Chaos includes : missing cars, missing kids, one husband who is scared of their own children, a trip to jail and a car chase in a taxi.  There were a few mild seconds where it was funny, namely when the Sean Astin character had to pop his shoulder back into place, and when the cop pulled the dad over with the car full of kids. But all in all, the humour didn't come with the main characters; which were the moms, but with the minor characters which were the dads and kids.

The opening sequence of the Drew character blogging made it seem like it was going to be going in a totally different direction, like the movie Motherhood, (Uma Thurman plays a mommy blogger in that too) but it ended up relying on the same old stuff we've seen a hundred times in these movies. (Fun Size, Adventures in Babysitting, The Sitter)

This would have been so much more interesting if it had followed the chaos the dads/kids side of the story and not the moms.

The Nosferatu Adventures S6 p1

The Nosferatu Adventures
page 155, chapter 155

Rolf cracked his neck as he thought about what the hold up was. There should have been a second shadowy image for Harker. The image to let the temporary Fate know what the other man's reincarnation would be. But there was nothing. Just the old form. Scratching at his beard, the werewolf crossed his arms over his massive chest. 

"Okay man, something's not right here." he blinked a few times, smacking his temple with the palm of his hand. "Reception I guess is fine." he shrugged, as the voiceless soul tried to ask what was happening. Rolf held up his hand telling Harker to calm down. "You died. I'm here to help you pass on."

Harker threw himself at the larger male, trying to grab a hold of his shirt, but found his hands drifted through him. Stunned, Harker stumbled backwards, falling to the floor, a look of pain and grief in his eyes.

"Look bud, all I can think of is that you made a deal or something with your god. Did you?"  he asked crouching down on his heels, flicking his hair out of his face. Harker shook his head mouthing the word no. "Well, something is getting in the way."

The Fort...

The Necromancer raised an eyebrow, puckering his lips as he washed his hands. The body was very fresh, only about an hour old. He figured it wouldn't take longer then a few minutes. He glanced again at the female who hovered near the painting of King Leo and Ash, that still hung in his chambers. He couldn't wait to get his hands on her blood.
That had been the deal, he saves Harker, and our heroine gives him a few liters of her vampire blood. The Necromancer was practically salivating he was so jazzed at the thought. It had been decades since he'd come across a human vampire. He'd been making due with the blood from the yellow eyed bat creatures for years, almost given up hope of ever coming across someone like the female ever again.

Quickly he got to work. The Necromancer held his hands over the body, feeding his own energy into it by a yellowy-green light that seemed to course out of his palms, chanting something under his breath. Our heroine was too busy trying not to watch, that she missed whatever it was he was saying.

Suddenly her nose started to burn, forcing her to sneeze. Turning, she saw Harker's chest begin to move, to fill up with air slowly. She moved quickly to stand beside him just at the elbow of the Necromancer. Watching as he started to talk to Harker.

"Do you remember what happened? Do you know your name?"

Slowly the male opened his eyes, looking around as a hoarse whisper escaped him. He nodded as tears ran down his face, his hands then going to where the wound had been. "I...I...was murdered. This woman barged...barged in with a dagger..." he spotted our heroine reaching for her.

"Do you know your name?" the Necromancer asked again.

"Harker. Captain Harker Frankenstein."

The Necromancer's face twitched at hearing that. He took a short step backwards, clearing his throat, smoothing down a stray strain of hair. "Huh...very need to lay very still for a few minutes, as..." he cleared his throat again suddenly looking around the room. "...your limbs need some time work." he turned then grabbing our heroine by the elbow herding her out of the room. Once outside in the hallway, the door shut he let his panic show. "You didn't tell me he was a Frankenstein!" he began to pace back and forth biting his nails.

"What's that got to do with anything?" the female asked.

"Everything! There is a curse..."

"Yeah, only on married members of the family." she said flicking her fingers through the two streaks of grey in her hair.

"Not that! That's nothing but a harmless anti-cheating spell. Any rootworker could conjure that. I'm talking about the real curse."

"Um, sure okay. There's something else? What did that family do for curses to be slapped on them?"


Rolf stood back up to his full height shaking out his hands. "We're running out of time. If we don't move you on to your next life soon, you'll be stuck here in this room, for years. Unable to touch or talk or anything. Now, I'd love to say that this isn't going to hurt a bit, but to be totally honest, I have no idea if it will. But you've just got to trust me okay?"  the dark haired werewolf took a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders raising his hands towards the shadowy figure. His strong fingers were just millimeters away from touching the two soul points, one at the heart chakra and one in the chakra between Harker's eyebrows.

Rolf's fingertips never made contact. Instead, they drifted through the spirit causing the larger male to stumble forward. Stumble right through him. Turning quickly, the stunned werewolf found himself alone in the room. "Huh?"

Tune in again for another installment of the Nosferatu Adventures starring your up story. Now I need to find a really great curse for the family.)

Monday, September 1, 2014

year 3 day 112

movie: Punch Drunk Love
starring: Adam Sandler, Emily Watson
genre: Romance, Comedy,
year: 2002
format: Netflix Canada

plot: After a chance meeting outside of his office, a socially awkward man falls in love with his sister's friend. But before they can even have their first date, he gets himself into trouble with a group extorting him for money.

This was weird to say the lest. Not great, not bad, just odd. There were moments when I wanted to compare it to those romantic comedies of the 1960's. I could easily see Jimmy Stewart playing this role.

The lead character has been bullied and mocked his whole life by his family of sisters, that he's pent up so much anger and has become depressed. The character seems to be a chronic liar through most of the film, only to have waves of guilt that force him to tell the truth.

I'm not too sure what the point behind this movie is, other then maybe to take a closer look at how society looks at depression in men?