Your Movie Sucks by Roger Ebert

One of the world's top movie critics, Roger Ebert has seen it all. Literally.

This volume of some of his best reviews of some of the worst movies to come out between 2000 and 2007, expresses just why he's currently the leader of the pack.

I rarely agree with critics. {partly why I became a book reviewer myself and an amateur movie critic} But even I can not argue with Ebert's reviews of things like Rollerball, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Scooby-Doo.

The introduction to the book gives a bit of a tease. I was hoping the rest of the book would get as in-depth, but it doesn't.  And I can understand that he spent enough time on the reviews the first time around, why should he torture himself again with an explanation?

This over all is a great light read { I don't mean by page count but by the fact you can read the reviews together or randomly} and a collection of works that any film fan should have on hand.

Day 116

Movie: Ed Wood
Starring: Johnny Depp, Bill Murray
Genre: Comedy, Bio-Pic,
Year:1994
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: We follow Ed Wood as he makes his three most famous movies, Glen or Glenda, Bride of the Monster and Plan 9 From Outer Space, all the while trying to help Bela Lugosi get off drugs.

This film was brilliantly shot not just in Black and White but in the style of the films it's remembering.  As in the way dialog was delivered. {all the actors in this film acted in an almost cardboard way when delivering their lines exactly the way movies of the 1950s did}

More time is devoted in this to the first two of Wood's more popular films, Glen or Glenda  and the Bride of the Monster aka Bride of the Atom, while the part of this movie that covers Plan 9 From Outer Space is done in a montage.

I don't think anyone else could have pulled off the character of the famous director other then Johnny Depp. He's as one of a kind as the man he was portraying.

What do I think I learned from this film?
 If you're going to do something every day for your life you have to do it completely out of pure love. No matter how bad the films of Ed D Wood Jr were, they were done for the shear love of it.  You have to have faith in yourself no matter what others say about your work or your belief.

Day 115

Movie: Ten things I hate about you
Starring: Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles,
Genre: Comedy
Year: 1999
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: Two sisters who are told that they can only date if the other does, are both pursued by two guys who team up together.

This is a modern telling of the Taming of the Shrew

This was said by critics to be the big breakout for Heath Ledger, but honestly I found this film painful to sit through.
The movie might only be 13 years old, but it really dated itself with some of it's pop-culture references; and that's really saying something considering it's based on a 500 year old play.
It came out at a time when directors were throwing in scenes with bands for the sake of being able to say that they got "that band".
 
What do I think I learned from this film?
Arguing is still the most natural way to flirt.

150 Movies You Should Die Before You See

That is the title of this 2010 book by Steve Miller.  This is by far a great encyclopedia of some of the best of the worst.

Broken up into 15 chapters, this covers much of the last 70 years.  Each listing gives the title, year, director, producer, stars and writer.
It also has a bit of trivia and a star rating {in this case a thumbs down}

I will say this much, I don't understand why the author didn't give Full Moon it's own chapter, as many of the Full Moon films have found their way into this volume.   {and if you don't know of what films I'm referring to then shame on you!} 
I was also disappointed to find the the God-King of bad movies, ED D WOOD JR,  did not have his own chapter either. 

All in all, a great way to spend an hour and half and well worth the cash.  This is the type of book every film freak should have on hand.

Day 114

Movie: Carnage
Starring: Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet
Genre: Drama
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: Two sets of parents get together one afternoon to figure out how to handle the fact their children were in a fight at school.

This is based on a stage play, and is a Roman Polanski film.

Warning- this is all dialog.  Which is something I crave at times. You can feel a bit claustrophobic as it all takes place in a small apartment, 90% of which is the living room.

It's a witty film, that sort of goes nowhere but it zips by you so fast you're unaware that you spent almost an hour and a half just listening to people fight and drink and puke.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Even when you have the best of intentions you can still manage to create chaos.

Over a coffee...

There are rare moments when a movie that is based on a book is not just as good, but better then the book.
And when I say rare, I mean I've come across maybe three.

The Witches of Eastwick  was a much better film then it was a book.  Even though the book is a cult classic novel and shows witchcraft/magick in a more realistic way; the movie still managed to be a step above.

 
Queen of the Damned.  Maybe because the first half of the film is actually based on another of the Anne Rice vampire chronicles, but I really thought the movie version of Queen of the Damned was more enjoyable then the book. The first half of the film {up to the point of the concert} is actually based on the second novel in the series - The Vampire Lestat- and was just a tighter story.

Mansfield Park.  A classic novel by Jane Austen, that doesn't really go anywhere.  The 1999/2000 version of the film takes the main elements of ethics and gives it a major boost.

Day 113

Movie: Muppets 2011
Starring: Kermit, Miss Piggy
Genre: Comedy, Musical,
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: The Muppets are at risk of loosing their theater and decide to throw one more show to raise the money to save it. Meanwhile, Animal has been undergoing therapy with Jack Black to stay calm, and they decide to kidnap him because they need to find a guest host. 

It's the Muppets, it's cute by default. The title should not be mistaken with the original muppets movie from 1979 which has the gang wanting to make their first Hollywood film.

The release of this film landed a few of the muppets on WWE's Raw for the Halloween 2011 episode. And pitted Miss Piggy against Vickie Guerrero. 
It was funnier then the film.

It just felt so rehashed, the story line has been used in the tv show itself and the past films.

What did I think I learned from this film?
A well timed musical number will either have you suddenly the star of the room or everyone around you calling for help.
Everyone has a purpose and a talent, you just have to dig deep within yourself to find it and be strong enough to believe in yourself. Nothing is out of your reach if you trust your gut.

Day 112

Movie: The Sitter
Starring: Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: A college drop out is asked to do a favour for his mom and babysit her best friend's kids. Soon after getting there, his girlfriend calls and invites him to a party but only after he picks up her drugs.

This is a remake of the 1987 film Adventures in Babysitting with more of a guy's slant to it.
The idea of a mobster who wants everyone to be his best friend was sarcastic enough that the humour of it plays well. 

What do I think I learned from this film?
Be yourself even if you really wish you were someone else.

DVD New Releases Week of ...

March 27th 2012

:A Dangerous Method, 

:Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, 

:Camel Spiders,

Day 111

Movie: How Stella Got her groove back
Starring: Angela Bassett, Whoopi Goldberg
Genre: Drama, Romance
Year: 1998
Format: TV EDIT

Plot:  A 40 year old divorced woman decides to take a last minute trip to Jamaica and starts an affair with a 20 year old man.

This is based on a book.

This is one of those "it's too good to be true" stories.  The lead character has all these issues that just manage to melt away just on time.
I sat through this film the whole time waiting for the other shoe to drop but found it never did.

What do I think I learned from this film?
You can't be afraid to live your life.

Day 110

Movie: Princess Diaries 2 Enchanted Engagement
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Chris Pine
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2004
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: Mia has given in to the life her grandmother wants for her. The only thing missing is the fact she needs to marry in order to hold on to her kingdom.

This film picks up roughly 5 years after the first one.
I found it lacking.  It falls under the umbrella of a typical over the top silly Disney film that seemed to be the craze few years ago.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Love will hit you like a runaway arrow, even when you loath the idea.

Day 109

Movie:Princess Diaries
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews
Genre: Comedy
Year:2001
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: A teenaged girl finds out that she's really the daughter of a prince.

This is based on a book.
Not one of the best things to be offered by Disney, nor the most original. But it is a fun way to waste a few hours.

What do I think I learned from this film?
No matter what you feel about where you came from, you have to except yourself, even when you're not sure you can live up to everyone's expectations.

Day 108

Movie: One Hour Photo
Starring: Robin Williams, Connie Nielsen
Genre: Thriller, Crime, Drama,
Year:2002
Format: TV EDIT

Plot:A quiet man who works at the local photo mart has uncovered a secret connected to his favourite regular customers and decides to stalk them.

A very disturbing film but not in the way you would expect.
This reminded me of the old Hitchcock movies like Rear Window.
There is one scene where you see the house of the lead character and have a theory on why he's doing what he's doing, only the end of the movie when the twist is revealed, do you understand the theme of the film.

What do I think I learned from this film?
What you see isn't always what you get. 

Day 107

Movie: Killer Elite
Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen
Genre: Drama, Crime, Action
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: British Intelligence agents are pitted against a group of elite assassins in a game of cat and mouse.

This is said to be based on a true story.

Given this was set 30 years ago, I found the whole situation to be typical of old 007 films.
For something that was promoted as a major action shoot 'em up film, there was more dialog then you'd expect, leaving it draggy and dry at times.

What do I think I learned from this film?
The Cold War was the beginning of the big technology era. And that we're still paying the price for some of the stuff.

Day 106

Movie: Ides of March
Starring: Ryan Gosling, George Clooney
Genre: Drama
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot While working on a political campaign, a young campaign manager learns that his candidate has been having an affair with an intern. 

For a political drama this was edgy.  It was fairly easy to keep up with even for those of us who know nothing about politics. 

The casting of Paul Giamatti as the questionable manager for the other campaign was a brilliant move, even with limited screen time  Giamatti owns this movie. And he plays like a compliment with the character of Ryan Gosling. I would love to see these two paired up more in the future.

What do I think I learned from this film?
 Even when you think you have it all figured out, you never really do. And you can never truly trust those in power even when you are on top of the world.

Food Vampires One and the Same

 
Last summer I was watching a vampire movie, and it got me thinking about how vampires have been used for metaphors for everything.

That particular time, I was thinking about vegetarians vs meat eaters.  As the film was all about the ethics of eating human blood vs eating animal blood.  How is that any different from the ethics of eating just vegetables vs having a meat diet?  I blogged about this on my regular blog last summer posing the question and also asking if all this time,  at the core of vampire films could they be foodie films?

The connection between the two genres becomes more apparent with each vampire movie that I have come across in the last few years, mostly and obviously within the Twilight Saga films.
Here you have a series of movies and books where one of the main subplots is controlling their desire to hunt humans.
In the second film Twilight New Moon, the character of Jasper  nearly kills Bella after she gets a tiny paper cut on her hand, and is then forced to go outside until the mess is cleaned up.
They keep drawing attention to the fact he's only been on a "vegetarian diet" for a few years.

There is a line in the Roger Corman cult classic  To Sleep With A Vampire, where the vampire says "Do you talk to a hamburger or introduce yourself to a milkshake?"  drawing another comparison again. 

In Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire  the character of Louis has a growing hatred for taking human life but is settled to feed on chickens, dogs and rats for much of the film. Only when he does finally take a human life, he feels that he's lost his last bit of humanity. It's the ethics of the situation that seems to be his torture.

Vampires Anonymous, touches on this theme as well, having the lead character take a test to see what kind of animal blood is best suited for him after he freaks out from having killed his girlfriend, then sends him to a pig farm. Though this movie's main theme is addiction.

The theme of the vegetarian vampire seems to be a hot one in the last few years, but hasn't it always been one of the main core themes? 

Day 105

Movie: Just Married
Starring: Aston Kutcher, Brittany Murphy
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Year: 2003
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: A young couple meet and marry quickly, then find themselves dealing with a honeymoon from hell.

This is one of those typical romantic comedies where you know the set up before the joke is told.
It's poor boy and rich girl dealing with money and ex lovers while destroying Europe.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Real love is hard but worth the work. And script writers need to come up with something new.

Day 104

Movie: Jack and Jill
Starring: Adam Sandler, Al Pacino
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: Jack makes commercials, and his job depends on landing Al Pacino for the latest one. Meanwhile, his twin sister comes for the holidays and not only over stays her welcome but is the key to getting Pacino

This was like watching a really bad SNL skit for an hour and a half, not too mention it had many SNL alumni throughout.


What do I think I learned from this film?
I will never like Adam Sandler films

Day 103

Movie:Three Musketerrs
Starring:Matthew Macfadyen, Milla Jovovich,
Genre:Action, Adventure
Year:2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: The last of the musketeers have been hired to steal a design for a flying machine. Once they get back to France, they find themselves face to face with a former companion who is working for England. Together with the son of a former Musketeer, they have five days to save France

This is based on the book
This is also one of many versions of the story to be made into film.

It lends itself to the possibility of a sequel much in the same fashion as the Pirates of the Caribbean films did

What do I think I learned from this film?
Trusting someone is not the same thing as knowing someone.

Day 102

Movie: College Road Trip
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Raven Symone
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2008
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: A father and daughter go on a three day trip together to check out the colleges that she applied to.

I know this is a Disney film, but it has the feeling of one of those mass made college-teen comedies that was all the rage a few years ago.  Only it's clean.
It tries to be funny but mostly falls flat.

What do I think I learned from this film?
 A parent will do anything to keep you from making a major mistake in their eyes.

Day 101

Movie: RV
Starring: Robbin Williams, Jeff Daniels
Genre: Comedy
Year: 2006
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: An executive cons his family into a cross country trip after being told by his boss to go to do a presentation. Along the way they end up having to dodge another family of travelers.

This was pure comedy which is what Robbin Williams does best.
Too bad it was predictable as well.  The jokes were set up a mile away leaving this one a fun no brainer.

What do I think I learned from this film?
 A job is just a job, but your family you have to live with.

Top 5 Hugh Grant films

Hugh Grant has been one of the hottest actors for the last twenty plus years.  Ever since I saw him in the vampire film Lair of the White Worm he's been on my top favs list of actors.
Here's my top 5 fave films of his.

1.About a Boy
2.Sense and Sensibility
3.Nothing Hill
4.Bridget Jones's Diary
5. Lair of the White Worm


 One major pattern I have noticed about his work, is that he has done many films that are book-to-screen- adaptations. Smart man. Hugh Grant just somehow knows how to make the material come alive.

Day 100

Movie: Four Weddings and a Funeral
Starring: Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Year:1994
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: A small group of friends end up finding themselves at a series of weddings and the funeral of one close friend in the course of a year and a half.

I honestly do not see what the big deal with this movie is? 
Everyone claims this is a great film, but I found this to be just boring.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Love is the thing, not the dress.

Day 99

Movie: Charlie's Angels 2 Full Throttle
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Demi Moore
Genre: Comedy, Action
Year: 2003
Format: TV EDIT

Plot: There is a plot to uncover all the names on the witness protection list, and the Angles are called in to find out who's behind it.

This is the second film in the remake series.

It was so beyond cheesy and slapstick crazy. The action was over the top cartoonish which made watching it difficult at times.
The plot seemed thin not too mention there were just too many puzzle pieces to follow, and none of them were very interesting.


What do I think I learned from this film?
I don't think I learned anything from this film

Day 98

Movie: Cirque du Freak -The Vampire's Assistant
Starring: Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly
Genre: Comedy, Action, Adventure
Year: 2009
Format: TV EDIT

Plot:After discovering a real vampire is part of a traveling circus, a teenaged boy becomes a vampire in training in order to save his best friends' life.

This is based on the series of books, and combines the first three novels in the film.

This seems to be using the vampire as a metaphor for depression. The vampire genre is filled with teenaged characters because it's a time in life when things seem more then they are, and the vampire is the perfect icon for it.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Stealing will always have a price. Don't be afraid to be who you are.

Day 97

Movie: Woman on Top
Starring:Penelope Cruz, Harold Perrineau
Genre:Comedy, Romance,
Year:2000
Format:DVD

Plot:After catching her husband cheating, a young woman moves to Seattle and ends up getting her own cooking show.

This is a very cheesy film.  It's cute but very cheesy.
There is a subplot similar to Simply Irresistible, about how magick and food are linked by your emotions. This is a theme I love, as food always carries your emotions.

There are a lot of musical moments that just sort of don't fit that appear out of nowhere.


What do I think I learned about this film?
True love no matter how hard can never be broken or forgotten.

Day 96

Movie: Young Adult
Starring: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt
Genre:Drama
Year; 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: A writer returns to her hometown to try to win back her ex-boyfriend, and is faced with the reality of having to deal with leaving the past in the past.

This was a bit dry.  It follows a broken woman as she tries to deal with the fact her career is in a transition, the fact she has a drinking problem, and the fact she just doesn't like herself.


What do I think I learned from this film?
Life can't be the way we want it to be all the time, even when we are writing the script.

Day 95

Movie: The Rum Diary
Starring: Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart
Genre: Drama, Comedy,
Year: 2011
Format:DVD

Plot: A young reporter moves to Puerto Rico in an attempt to make a living as a writer.

This is based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel of the same name.

This film and it's novel are a pre-shadow to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by ten years, but you still see the elements that made Hunter S Thompson's work great.
Depp plays this character to perfection, always keeping in the back of your mind an image of Thompson.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Finding your voice is not always the easiest thing to do but it's the most important.  And always stick to your guns.

Day 94

Movie: Johnny English Reborn
Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Tim McInnerny
Genre: Comedy, Action
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: MI7 are about to send someone to talk to the leader of China only there is a mole in the agency. They bring in Johnny English to find out who.

This is more of an update of the old Get Smart tv show then anything else, and it does it much better then the movie version of Get Smart did.

It's one of those laugh out loud stupid comedies that Atkinson does so well {Black Addar and Mr. Bean}

What do I think I learned from this film?
Never give up.

Day 93

Movie: Wyatt Earp's Revenge
Starring: Shawn Roberts, Matt Dallas
Genre: Western
Year: 2012
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: After the death of his lover, Wyatt Earp hunts down the man who is responsible

This has a made for tv feel to it, which given it's a direct to video film, is to be expected.
The narrative is done in layers of flashbacks, being told by an aged Earp then overlapped by the younger version.
There was just something about the dialog that actually reminded me of a Shakespeare play.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Regrets are tin echos that fill our memories

Day 92

Movie: Footloose  Remake
Starring: Kenny Wormald, Dennis Quaid
Genre: Music, Drama
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: After the death of his mother, Ren goes to live with his uncle's family in a small town. His biggest issue becomes his greatest goal, to be able to dance in town.

This is as far as remakes go, better then most.  The casting of Kenny Wormald as the Kevin Bacon character of Ren was pure genius. 
It keeps fairly close to the original script, with just a few minor adjustments that don't really add or subtract from it. 
My biggest complaint for film is the soundtrack.  As someone who grew up with in the 80's when the original was first released, the soundtrack was the biggest key to the film.  This remake has taken almost all the original songs from the 1984 version and butchered them.

What do I think I learned from this film?
It's still cool to dance your ass off.

Coming Attractions April 2012

April 6th: The Moth Diaries,
          11th: Love Never Dies,
          13th: Hardcore Logo 2, Lockout, Cabin in the Woods, The 3 Stooges,
          20th: The Lucky One,
          27th: The Five Year Engagement, The Raven,

At this time, I do not have any DVD/Blu-Ray release dates.

Day 91

Movie: Coyote Ugly
Starring: Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia
Genre:Music, Drama, Romance, Comedy
Year: 2000
Format: DVD

Plot:When a shy songwriter moves to New York to live her dream, she ends up getting robbed her first few days in town. Broke and alone she ends up getting a job as a barmaid at one of the hottest spots in the neighbourhood which leads to her getting her voice heard.

This movie is one of those classic girl power films.

It plays like it should be an episode of Sex and the City with a killer soundtrack.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Fear is something that everyone can get around in order to see their dreams come true, you just have to have the confidence to take that first tiny step.

The Top 5 Johnny Depp Movies

Like so many people, I am a life long fan of Johnny Depp. With the release of his latest movies - Dark Shadows in cinemas this year and the recent DVD release of last year's Rum Diary, I thought I would do a Top 5 for him.

1. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
2. The Ninth Gate
3. The Secret Window
4. The Rum Diary
5. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 At World's End



I find it strange, that whenever other people list off their favourite Depp films. they always seem to go for his more mainstream movies and pay little love to his other works. And not too mention, I usually disagree with what other people have on their lists.

Day 90

Movie: Definitely Maybe
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Rachel Weisz
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Year: 2008
Format: TV Edit

Plot: A single dad is asked by his daughter to tell her how he met her mother and as he does, both realize the woman he's really in love with.

This was just straight up a long movie.  No getting around it, it just dragged making the 2 and a half hours feel more like 4.
The film is typical for the romantic stories that seemed to be pushed out in the last few years.  It also showed Reynolds could play the lead balancing the humour and the drama that not many can truly do.


What do I think I learned from this film?
Love is more about the place you find yourself then the place you find the other person.

Day 89

Movie: Puss in Boots
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek
Genre: Western, Action, Adventure
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: Puss is an infamous outlaw who runs into a female outlaw who is working with his brother to gather the magic beans from an evil Jack and Jill.  They want him to join their plan to save the town they grew up in.

This starts off from scene one with questionable plotlines that made me wonder how this could get a G rating and a slot in the Disney Kids section of the video rental.
The animation is so spellbinding I couldn't take my eyes off the screen, but that didn't keep me from shaking my head in wonder on how they got away with a few of the things they did.

The combination of Banderas and Hayek are as natural together as butter on bread.  I think this makes 3 movies for the two to have worked together on? {Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Desperado}

What do I think I learned from this film?
You are where you dream about.

Day 88

Movie: Tower Heist
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: After the staff of a hotel find out that they have been swindled by an investor they decide to take things in their own hands and get revenge by stealing back their money.

This is a buddy film.  A total feel good rooting for the underdog movie.
Eddie Murphy plays a small time thief in what has come to be his typical role. Over the top, fast talking and just straight face ridiculous.

I'm not too sure what the point of this was other then to possibly create a new duo with Stiller and Murphy.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Never trust a thief unless you want to be taken in, and always know who you are letting invest in your life.

Day 87

Movie: InSight
Starring: Sean Patrick Flanery, Adam Baldwin
Genre: Mystery, Crime, Drama
Year: 2011
Format: Shaw Video On Demand

Plot: When a nurse gets an electric shock during a emergency, she starts to take on the final memories of her patient.

This film was a mindbender in a bad way.  It just did not seem to gel together.   You're lead to believe one story when in fact a second story is actually weaving itself around you.  Only  there is no connecting thread to either plot lines.

This should have been a nice easy to watch thriller but instead ended up being an overly complicated mess.

What do I think I learned from this film?
Even smoke and mirrors sometimes are not really there