It's once again a Tuesday, which means it's Vampire Movie Club night. And this week's selection is... Vamps.
We open with a montage of shots explaining the relationship between Goody and Stacy and how they became vampires, letting us know that the term Stem means the vampire who turned you. Right off, the viewers know Goody's real age which is over a hundred years old, and a thing hidden from Stacy. Then a package of dirt shows up for Stacy to use in her coffin, only it's empty. They work as exterminators which is fine for feeding.
Then the two girls get a psychic message from their Stem, demanding they show up to help her pick out clothes. Then the Stem orders pizza so that she can kill the delivery guy.
The girls then go to a goth club and hang out with other vampires and a few wannabes. We learn that the whole vampire community is being audited. Which sends panic throughout.
Goody goes home with a guy from the bar who is a drug addict and when he gets a nose bleed, she falls off the wagon.
The police then find the chopped up body of the delivery guy the next morning that the Stem had feed on.
We then see the girls go to a vampire's anonymous meeting.
Stacy then goes to a night class and starts flirting with another student, who ends up being a Van Helsing. Meanwhile, Goody runs into an old boyfriend that she hasn't seen in over 40 years, while at work. She tells him that she is the daughter of the woman he used to date to explain why she hasn't aged.
Stacy then goes on a date with Van Helsing, and ends up meeting his parents who figure out she's a vampire, and then try to convince their son. But he doesn't believe them at first.
We then see the girls at another VA meeting, this time a new member who claims to be a Psy-Vamp shows up, and Stacy bullies her into leaving.
The next scene is Van Helsing's dad breaking into the apartment of a vampire and staking him. The girls then have another chat with their Stem, who doesn't care about any of it and is packing to go to away. She's got it in mind that she's going to make a rock star fall in love with her. Which we find out later didn't go too well.
Goody then goes on a date with her old boyfriend and discovers that he's married, and looking after his wife who is dying of cancer and only has days left to live. While on her date, Goody sees a man having a heart attack and saves him with a dose of vampire saliva, and has to tell her ex the truth.
Meanwhile, Stacy learns that she is pregnant. Goody does some research and finds out that the pregnancy will terminate itself within a few days because of the vampirism, unless their Stem is killed, which would allow them to all turn back to their real ages.
The vampire community get together to talk about the fact they are being audited, which would drive them all out into public view if they don't find a way to handle it. Goody learns that her ex is now a lawyer and figures out that if they all go with him during an eclipse, they can have just enough time to show up at the government building and have him represent them, clearing their records.
In return, she has one of the vampire Stems turn his wife into a vampire, saving her life.
The group then throw an 80's style prom to celebrate, only to be summons by their Stem to help her clean up her mess. She's back in town heartbroken and has managed to feed on the entire restaurant of customers.
Goody and Stacy decide that the only way the vampire community- who prefer to call themselves things like Eternal Life Form (ELF)-will be safe from future detection, is to team up with the Van Helsings to kill their Stem. This lets Stacy turn back to her real age which is around 42, and able to keep the baby. While Goody ages rapidly before their eyes and turns to ash given that she was over a 100.
The final scene is of Van Helsing's dad playing with the baby who is a vampire.
I covered this film last week. (Day 6 on the vampire blog) And the first time I watched it, I didn't really care for it. So why might you be asking, did I sit through it again so soon? Well, because I didn't want to get ahead of myself with the movies like I did last week. (I did a movie for movie club before covering it on the blog) And I shelled out a lot for this dvd, so I need to get some use out of it.
The plot is weak. The acting is not what you would expect from actors the caliber of Sigourney Weaver, Malcolm McDowell, or Wallace Shawn. When you see their names in a movie list, you figure you're going to see something good. This was less then mediocre. This is one of those films you will most likely see on late night tv along side the 7th installment of a bad horror franchise.
The characters are very flat, with little to no back history. The pregnancy storyline is just plan odd, and again there is nothing in the way of a mythology that would lead you to believe in even the corniest of ways that the vampires could get pregnant. Even the powers that the few vampires that do have them, are not developed more. And why do some of the vampires have powers and others not? None of that is explained.
We're just given what is feeling like an unfinished script. The cover and blurb on the dvd makes you think you're getting a vampire version of Sex and the City, while the trailer makes it look like it's Clueless all over again. Only neither is true.
I'm guessing the film is a bit of a veil for racial and political issues, as there are so many references to political rallies and demonstrations. And if you look at it from purely that point of view, it can have a few merits. But if you are looking at it as a romantic comedy, which is what it is billed as, you'll most likely be disappointed.
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